Monday, November 13, 2006

Thought: Why is China so crazy?

How quickly things change. In the time of one weekend, I may have lost one affiliation and gained another. Suffice to say that things have been crazy/stressful/quite Chinese.

Mistake one: I was honest with Yunnan Normal University about what I’m planning on doing, which is field research.
Result: I was told on Friday (after being here for almost two months, wow, thank you), that YNU cannot support my interview-based research. I probably have to find another affiliation. They will refund me if this is the case. Otherwise, I can remain with them and do research in their (better than Ithaca’s, but unimpressive nonetheless) library.

Thought one: This is not what I’m here for. What do I do? Fulbright later tells me I am the very first case of somebody arriving on land and then being “rejected.” Jee, wonderful.
Result of thought one: I beg my friend, the previously mentioned Wang Wei, to pull some of his contacts.

Result of this result: Sunday, somebody from an NGO I have previously volunteered with (which will remain anonymous, but for now, they do a lot of rural work) called Wang wei and said I could come in Monday morning at 10.
Result of this result: Monday morning at 10:10 (I couldn’t find the office, despite my previous experience there), I arrived, watched a Chinese interview take place (not mine, thank goodness – it was a girl with not high enough an education, and thus was whisked out with a **free DVD! Yay** in five minutes, and then spoke to the director-type-person. He said they would be happy to have me volunteer, and could I start today? (Today was spent at the computer, doing nothing.) I happened to have to move out today (another long story), and mentioned it, and suddenly I was back home packing with promises of the organization’s driver and car being able to take me to an apartment they’d already paid for, which was already occupied by another American girl, who seems not too pleased to have her space suddenly intruded on without her consent. I also asked about the affiliation/visa, and they said it could be done. He kept calling me “Ling Ling,” when my name is “Ting Ting.” At one point, director-type-person answered the phone and spoke in broken English, “I will not be here tomorrow, but you can speak to my assistant, Ling Ling.”

So, it may work out to be this way. But will it turn out to be…

Mistake number two?: So am I willing to give up all other methods, and perhaps my chances of doing what I really had been planning on doing, which was living in Shaxi Village for several months? If I stay with CBIK, I have a feeling I will then be based in Kunming, and tied to a desk/computer for a majority of the time. They do field work, which is awesome, but I have no guarantees right now how much of it I may be able to participate in.
Thought two: However, I was beginning to have major doubts about the future of my own, individual research. Perhaps I can do better things through an organization, and learn from them as well as help contribute to something bigger.
Thought three: Additionally, this whole process is really stressful, and really political, and I might not get a research affiliation anywhere else, so perhaps I should be grateful for this.
Thought four: Why are some Chinese people so crazy?
Thought five: Today, I reluctantly went to an English corner with my Chinese friend, which is where a bunch of Chinese people talk to you in English. Not a terrible experience, but also not worth my precious time.
Thought six: Just kidding. My time is certainly not precious. I have been here for this long and have very very little to show for it. Also, Kunming makes me lazier than I have ever been before.
Thought seven: Many of you have said that you hate reading long things. And here I am wasting your time by typing more and more.
Thought eight: Speaking of typing a lot, I’ve realized that I cannot correct English essays. It’s because I enjoy writing and sometimes get a little bit too picky/interested in spinning different words and sentences. Not that you can tell from this piece of ****-oh!-I’m-going-to-make-a-list-because-I’m-too-lazy-to-link-paragraphs!.
Thought nine: When I said before "lazier than I have ever been before," I might have been lying. But my laziness now certainly matches the laziness/procrastinative state that held me in its grasp throughout my college years.

So there is my life right now. I have not updated in a while because I have been feeling tired an uninspired. But the above-mentioned events have given me a kick in the arse.

5 comments:

China Herald said...

Hi, tried to call you and you were busy. Guess it is not all those other Jajah-subscribers, since they are very hard to find. Anyway, will try later again.

Anonymous said...

julllieee- i love you!
what a weirdo. he he not referring to you. i love that blog about the cockroaches and i feel so terrible about the farmers :(
i'm sorry you're having such a hard time there. wish i were with you. but i'd prob hate it b/c of the HUMONGOUS language barrier. i think i spelled that wrong. love love love.
feel better, okay/

Anonymous said...

anyway. i forgot to let you know it was me. yes, me. your lover who calls you all the freaking time. :o)

Anonymous said...

Julllieee... just come back... I cant bear to be away from you any more...

Anonymous said...

Oh man you sound busier than me... and im starting a business..

you crazy woman.